It is with sadness that I’m starting off 2025. I learned that my old classmate Sabrina passed away on December 28th.
Sabrina and I were classmates at Trinity Elementary school from Kindergarten through 8th grade starting in the early 1980s and then we attended the same high school for the first two years until she transferred to West. As with many young boys, I wouldn’t say that I was ‘friends’ with any girls until later on in high school, however, being in a group that you see every day during very formative years I feel that a bond develops none-the-less.
Sabrina had a difficult life and so I’d like to start with some of the happier memories. It is also with a sense of some guilt that I tried to amend later in life that are tied to those happier times. As I do with many of those I’ve known who pass away, I’m writing this memorial post as a way to ensure a small portion of her life is remembered, as something that will persist through the passage of time when everything, people included, eventually fade away. I think she would be pleased as this is a testament that I did care for her and want her to know that, wherever her spirit now resides.
The happier portion came when I reconnected with her around 2009 through social media and especially the game of World of Warcraft. Social media was so much fun in the beginning as it offered a very easy way to rediscover those old acquaintances. Before then, people came and went out of your life and unless you were diligent about keeping in touch, you’d probably never see or even hear about them again. Social media changed all that where now, friendships and acquaintances simply collect, like pieces on a mantle that are there if you ever choose to look at them again, but you mostly just walk on by as they collect dust.
When we connected again after almost 20 years, she let me know she played Warcraft as well and so we teamed up. At that time the game had lost its luster for me but regained its interest in that I could play with an old classmate. It was also at this time I reconnected with another childhood friend – Ryan Gray – who also was interested in Warcraft and we all played together for a few short months.
I then moved into a house, we had our first child and so I didn’t play Warcraft until eventually stopping completely. But I stayed in contact with Sabrina through that new, exciting service called Facebook. The next time we reconnected in a big way was for our 20th high school reunion. I had always wanted to attend a reunion given the fun it seemed like from the movies and that I rather enjoyed high school. Unfortunately it didn’t seem like anyone was going to take up the effort, so I along with a few others organized a class page and made it happen. I knew that Sabrina would really want to go and so I invited her to go with me and I’d take care of her for the evening. This was something I did not only for Sabrina, but also to try to atone for the past.
You see, it is with deep regret to admit we as a class were not very nice to her in elementary school. Kids can be cruel and Sabrina did receive a lot of unfair treatment that I wish I could go back and change. Life goes on, we go our separate ways and some have easier roads than others. Sabrina had a tough road but from what I learned later, she was tough herself and chiseled out some enjoyment from the hand she was dealt. There is only so much we can do as adults to help other adults but I needed to do a few, admittedly small, gestures for my past behavior.
The reunion went well and I ensured Sabrina had a great time. When I returned to Ohio I invited her out to the bar, along with a group of others and made sure I spent most of the time speaking with her. We talked about the past and I apologized for my behavior in elementary school. She let me know that although I wasn’t exactly ‘kind’ I wasn’t terrible like a few of the other boys in the class. As bad as it sounds, this gave me a small amount of comfort although I really wish I could go back in time and change that ‘not terrible’ to ‘a wonderful friend.’ I guess I can also take comfort in how I’ve become deeply empathetic later in life, which was mostly lacking as a young boy.
Keeping in touch, I learned more about her life and those enjoyable moments. She loved being a ‘scare actor’ during Halloween at the “Haunted Hoochie,” a scary forest that I remember going to once in high school. She liked witchcraft which was entirely appropriate given her affinity for Warcraft where she was a healer, and I, perhaps also just as appropriate for my past behavior, was a rogue. I remember in 8th grade how she would try to divine what others were thinking about which many of us thought as strange. But to her credit she got quite a few right and we were all amazed! I can even remember one example when Tonya asked what she was thinking about and Sabrina correctly guessed it was Tim, Tonya’s boyfriend. Perhaps not too difficult as aren’t boyfriends / girlfriends always on the minds of young people? But Sabrina gets a full point for the guess anyway since ‘magic’ may play only a small part in the bag of tricks all magicians or soothsayers use.
I remember asking her one December if there was anything she wanted for Christmas. Her answer was ‘some money’ so she could buy gifts for others. Sabrina had a heart of gold that was often abused. When she said that I felt an immense need to grant that wish and sent her $200. I should not have sent it by Western Union as they are crooks but it was the only way I knew how to get her cash. I thought I might do so again but the next time use a gift card but will never get that chance now.
A few more years rolled by and we exchanged messages here and there. She seemed to have dropped off the radar but then I got a message from her stating that she was really down on her luck with specifics I won’t get into out of respect for her. She mentioned that she had some health issues and had almost died. I sent a message back that I wished her well and she was in my thoughts. I then didn’t hear back which concerned me. After a bit of social media detective work learned that she was in the hospital with heart failure.
My first thought was to send flowers which I did, but then the thought occurred that I should call her directly. The internet as much as it has reconnected us, has also become somewhat of a barrier. Nobody picks up the phone anymore, nor does anyone even send informative e-mails. Communication has become the ‘like,’ the one sentence comment, as a way to passively maintain a connection. This method causes connections to weaken as they are not nearly as robust as a phone call or seeing someone in person. This came to my mind and so I found the number of the hospital and gave her a call.
She was surprised and her first question was “How did you find me?” We spoke for a bit but she was very weak and so passed the phone to her partner with whom I spoke for a bit. A few days later I have her another call to ensure the flowers arrived. She had requested lily flowers and I was concerned that the flower shop got it right since the displays on a website are not always what one actually received. She did receive them and appreciated the delicate colors although I couldn’t get exactly purple as she had requested. I asked how the food was and as expected, she found it mediocre. I told her I’d have lunch delivered and she asked for Apollos.
I called Apollos as I was very concerned a delivery driver might not be familiar with delivering to hospitals. I learned that restaurants rarely have their own delivery drivers anymore, now relying on services like “Uber Eats, and Doordash.” So I went through the service and had to follow up as the driver just delivered the gyros to the lobby instead of taking it to the room. Thankfully, I had the numbers to the nurses station and they said they’d take care of it.
That was the last time I spoke to Sabrina. I would check her partner’s page for any updates and was very sad to learn she passed on December 28th.
Sabrina, I’m very sorry for the way we all treated you in elementary school. I know you had a hard life and I hope you’re now at peace, wherever you are. I want you to know that I care about you and you were loved although I wish it didn’t take until adulthood for it to come from me. I’m glad we got to speak those words to each other before you left us. I’ll keep you in mind throughout the rest of my life and I’ll always have a picture of you in a special folder in my phone. Perhaps it is odd, but it is my way of carrying those special to me throughout my own life, as though you’re on the adventure with me. Please don’t hesitate to send me little signs that you are OK as I do watch out for them. I have seen many signs from others and I wonder if that were you yesterday. In the gym I noticed one drop of water running down the curl bench as though it were a single, solitary tear drop with no discernable source as I was thinking of you very heavily. If anyone can send a sign, I think you’d be the most able given your practice in the mysterious arts.
Rest in peace my friend and know that I love you.
