It is 7:29 AM on Sunday January 29th, 2022. In the past year I continue to wake up early, around 4 AM but I don’t actually get out of bed. I’ll peruse though my usual apps on my phone until I’m sleepy then get another hour of sleep before actually getting out of bed.
The disadvantage of doing this is I lose that calm, peaceful time before everyone has woken up. This is the time when I like to meditate, write something in my journal and is a time when the most wonderful insights and life changing ideas occur. This morning I woke up at 4, read through my phone and then decided this alone time was something I preferred over another hour of sleep so I got out of bed.
As for life changing ideas, one I’ve recently had is to stop drinking coffee as well as caffeine all together except for the occasional soda should I eat fast food or we order a pizza. Along with meditation I noticed my mindset has not been very calm, nor have I experienced that natural joy, the natural high that came easily when I was younger. This is the joy when your parents take you to the pool, or the movies with friends. It is the joy experienced in high school when going to a Friday night football game or especially when going on a date. It didn’t even have to be an event, it could simply be listening to a favorite song as you drive with the windows down on a beautiful summer day.
I have not had that type of joy spontaneously lift my mindset in a long time. Perhaps it is just a consequence of getting older. Maybe it is because of work stress and subsequently financial concerns. It could also be what we’re all going through socially, politically and with the pandemic that has dragged on for two years. All of these cause me stress and I’m learning that caffeine, while giving me a morning burst of energy also amplifies the anxiety. This caffeine ‘high’ is also of very low quality and a net negative for me. It is like smoking a cigarette: you feel nice for a little while but also stink of tobacco and have damaged your health. Coffee isn’t unhealthy like tobacco but I would venture to say it is unhealthy for a calm state of mind and may inhibit that natural joy I’m trying to rekindle.
Caffeine is a drug and it is amazing to think how many people are addicted to it. Taking a step back and looking very clearly at society as a whole a sad picture begins to emerge. There are so many addictions but the true extent is hidden away, not easily visible in daily life. Think of an alien looking at humanity and seeing how many need some sort of drug to function. There is caffeine, prescription pills, soda, alcohol, overeating, to things not ingested but still very much needed with the biggest of all being religion. Without religion a great majority of humanity would be completely lost. Most of humanity needs to have a reason, to have an explanation as to what is going on, why they are here. Without religion they would be naked in the dark, full of a terrible fear looking for something or someone to latch on to. What I have learned is to be comfortable in that dark, that unknowing and to simply appreciate that I am here, even if it is only for a short time.
Well, I went from the simple act of eliminating coffee to a deep philosophical idea. That often happens when I write. But perhaps if I am clever I can transition to something I have been wanting to get down in my blog as it does have to do with a simple, fleeting moment that occurred last week.
As my kids are getting older many of the toys aren’t getting played with anymore. It is the same thing that happened in the movie Toy Story where the toys just sit in a box and take up space. Well, before Christmas last year I got the idea to take “an inventory of toys” along with my boys. This organization was first to rediscover forgotten toys that they may still want to play with. The most popular of these were simply getting the remote controlled cars back with the right controllers and changing the batteries. The next step was to get rid of the toys they no longer used. Christmas was coming and although the type of toys have switched from physical plastic to electronic items such as video games it was good to clean things up a bit in preparation.
This inventory left us with a decent sized box of unused toys and it was then I thought of the movie Toy Story. I was hoping they would find new homes and be played with once again. At first we invited our friends with small kids to have a look but not much was taken and so the box sat for a while until my wife finally put them out on the sidewalk with a sign “free toys.” After a day or two the amount of toys had decreased but only by a little. It was one day until trash day and I really didn’t want to put any in the recycling bin as there must be some kids out there who would appreciate them. It was then that the magical moment occurred.
It was Friday and working from home as usual I went to make lunch. I used the last of the milk so went outside to throw it in the recycling bin. Going back into the house I glanced over to the box of toys and I saw a little boy, just a little guy in his coat and hat reaching into the box of toys with his mom standing next to him. I suddenly got a big smile in my face and gave a quick wave to them before heading back into the house. The wave came naturally as a way to let them know that by all means, please take anything you’d like! Then I wanted to get back in the house so as not to disturb them and let the boy choose in peace.
The moment was quick and unexpected. As I thought about it, and as I continue to do now, it brings a smile to my face. There is so much worry, so many problems in the world but for that little boy there was only joy. He had come across a box of free toys and could have his pick. I wish I could have seen what he eventually chose and to add some more magic I hope the toy is now happy as well. One thing that may have helped is when I noticed the toys weren’t being taken I put all the action figures accessories on and arranged them so they were all standing in plain sight out of the box. Then it was only one more day before the entire two boxes were gone.
Perhaps I can tie this entire post together by saying that my current goal is to rediscover that joy that coming across of free toys must have come for that little boy reaching into the toy box. There is so much negativity in the world right now and everything is changing so quickly. Perhaps if I just calm my mind, look around at all the beauty that still exists, and rediscover things like going on a bike ride, hiking, or simply taking walks with my boys then it would be like creating that magical box of toys. In fact, that is exactly what I am going to do. Today I will take my son on his first bike ride through Pacifica while my other son continues practicing how to ride a bike with my wife. I hope that I’ll feel that natural euphoria that has long been missing.
