Hey Intelligence Agencies!!! Good news, I found the terrorists!! I’m sitting here watching the news in California and they’ve just reported that gang members have killed two 14 year olds in the past week! If you’re not too busy please use your “precision guided missiles” to unleash some “shock and awe” in the city of Oakland. Random checks for weapons catches in the the Oakland city residents homes would also be advised since half the city appears to be gang bangers.
What is that you say? You are only allowed to do that in poor countries? What, you already deployed the National Guard to the border of Mexico to stop those “villians” who are just trying to make a better life for themselves? Nonsense!! I’m sure you could drop one daisy cutter, obliterate a couple city blocks in Oakland and the real terrorists would be done for! And just think, you could still make money by constructing a golf course, or perhaps high income housing in the new vacant lot! It’s a win win situation!
A concerned citizen,
Mateo
PS: You can skip the Castro area. The terrorists are sure to keep far away from there on their own.
PSS: Just so you are sure to receive this message as you are now listening, reading the private communications of ordinary Americans, let me make sure your scanners pick up this message. bomb bomb bomb bomb.
